Are you having more than just one child in your family? Are you seeing any signs of your younger ones blaming their elder siblings even if they are the one at fault? If this is happening in your family, there might be something you are doing wrongly. Are you unintentionally siding your younger child and being unfair towards your older children?
If you have been doing this, try to stop. Children, though young, are actually quite clever and mischievous. They will try to manipulate a situation to their favor to escape trouble. Parents have to assess the situation calmly and not jump to conclusions and blame someone. This is not a competition of who can cry the loudest or finger point the best; but those who are in the wrong must be punished.
Sometimes, parents will try to protect their younger children but blaming the older children is not a wise move. Although older children can help shoulder the responsibility of their parents in taking care of the younger siblings, most of them do not relish this responsibility as they did not willingly shoulder it. Forcing them to be independent and set a good role model for the younger siblings might backfire as they will rebel. Try not to punish the older children for the younger children’s fault unless the older child happened to encourage their younger siblings to do that. Will you be happy if someone punished you because your kids were in the wrong?
Parents are usually unaware of the message they are sending to both older and younger children if favoritisms continues. Your first born might end up being forced to mature faster than they could cope and feel that they can never be good enough for their parents. Meanwhile, your younger children could be overly pampered and think that they need to be protected all the time.
It’s important for parents to practice what they preach. Try not to compare your children against their siblings or other children as every child is perfect in a way and imperfect in another. Every child is unique, and as parents, we should love them all the same, just like how they love us.
Children do not benefit much from punishments but instead need time to learn and develop appropriate skills to handle conflicts. They need to know that fighting and accusing is wrong and will be held responsible if they do so. As parents, you should accept each child’s perfections and imperfections for they are your offspring. Remember to reward them for good behaviors and deeds to encourage them even more!