Very Involved Parents (VIP)

We are human and we do make mistakes from time to time. So does kids and that’s how the saying goes; “let us learn from our mistakes.” In fact, it’s very hard not to notice that your child isn’t making mistakes most of the time. The more mistakes they make the better as the more they will learn from there about life and the place they are living in.

Bare in mind that children will always try their best in every situation they confront with but it depends on the resources that they have at that point of time to make the best out of their effort. So, avoid telling them that they didn’t give their best or that they are hopeless or giving them any ‘shameful’ messages as this will only disappoint them and break their confidence very badly. Instead, use positive ways to express how displeased you are with them.

You should reflect on yourself as well on how you handle your own mistakes as this will somehow influence how you accept the mistakes made by your own children. At every situation, always let your children reflect on their mistakes and ask them what they had learnt. Avoid giving punishments first but seat and explain to them the right things they should be doing and the reason why certain things are done that way. Help them to understand the situation by explaining to them the consequences and also the benefits of their different deeds so that they would avoid repeating the same mistakes again.

You may share with them your experiences or some possible situations. Remember not to jump straight into the situation and solve for them immediately or correct them right away but instead give them some chance to explore themselves and you never know they might just solve the problem on their own instead.

Teach your children not to be afraid of making mistakes in life but confront their problems as soon as possible. Help them to accept their own weaknesses and strength as this will help them to accept their mistakes eventually which will give the chance to learn from it. Instill in them these values as this will help them to be a responsible person and no matter how long or far they run away from their mistakes, they will eventually still have to face the music. So why not face it soon rather than later?

A father is seen to be a strong character in the family where kids especially boys would treat their father as their hero. So what does it takes to make you a good father?

Generally fathers are always busy at work and it’s fair to make time for your family too. Be around your kids more often and get to know about their day or events that occurred which your kids are willing to share with you. This will show that although you’re always busy but at least you make an effort to get involved in their lives and kids being kids would amused you to your wits which will turn your own life into not so much of a routine anymore.

Both parents automatically become the kids’ role model and they would naturally look up to you. It’s important to be portraying to them good values/habits when you’re around so that they are able to emulate and practice. You mustn’t only teach them those values/habits but practice what you preach in front of your children be it with them or with others. However, bear in mind that you’re still their father and not their friend and so you cannot deprive them of discipline or always pamper them even when they make mistakes.

This does mean that you have to be stern towards them but still maintain being loving. Its both essential for your kids to feel being loved but still is receiving appropriate discipline too. There are always ways in doing so by grounding them for not obeying or making them work to earn for what they really want are some ways of be loving yet stern. It’s all about balancing and knowing your boundaries as if you’re too much of a pushover, your children will grow lacking discipline and if you push them too hard, they may just end up resenting you.

A father being the closest person other than their mother should also keep your honesty to your kids. Kids cherish and respect people who are honest and straightforward which would encourage them to be the same to the person too. No matter how tough the questions maybe, you should still provide them a respond that’s open but age-appropriate answers.

Definitely there are more points in becoming a good father but it still falls back to yourselves on how you play the role of being a father at the end of the day. Whatever it is, having to earn a living for the family isn’t always sufficient but with unconditional love, you just made yourselves a great father!

All mothers would love to be a good one to their family and there are so many ways in doing so. No matter how bad a mother can be, she still has some of the good elements in them.

All women have their strong instinct that would grow stronger when they become a mother. Even those who doesn’t have any knowledge about handling babies or children, will automatically know how when they are face to face with them. Taking care of the family becomes a mother’s chore which mean cleaning and caring while providing them with basic needs daily to the fullest.

Every mother would teach their children a lot of lessons/values and uses these teaching moments to the fullest capacity possible. These values/lessons would eventually become their children’s future guidance in their life and their roots to fallback to when they lost their way. If possible in any situation, the mother would take every opportunity she can to teach any of the children, anything at any given time to raise her children to become a responsible hard working adult.

Because the need of teaching the children, every mother is excessively patient and slow to anger even when she is very tired. A mother will never be unkind to their children and leave them in deep trouble without helping them to solve it. No matter how hard it is, a mother would still make sacrifices to provide for her children. A mother’s love for the children could also make her give up her own life without thinking twice about it in cases where she needs to save her children’s life.

A mother would also protect their children from all that they can and would care about how did their children day went too. She would ensure her children dress to look awesome in any clothing and never look sloppy yet her children will look neat and clean from head to toe. She would also ensure her children take enough nutrition and supplement as well as enough of exercise to provide them a healthy lifestyle.

Any mom in a family would have done all this without even the need of being told. A good mother is someone who loves her kids and tries daily to be the best mom possible to the family.  Don’t push yourselves too hard as you could just be a good mother yourselves already!

Mothers are individual who multi task a lot be it at work or at home. Most kids would seek their mothers more than their fathers when they are in trouble. However, some kids may not and seek their father instead. Well, different families have different cultures and there are common mistakes that most mothers make.

There are always so many house chores to do daily and it can be very stressful for the mothers if no one is helping out not even the other spouse or the kids. The mistake a mother made here is not delegating enough and not giving enough responsibilities especially to the kids. Kids who are growing up needs to be exposed to doing house chores as this will help them in learning new skills while gaining more experience and knowledge for their own future use.

Some mothers would be very petite and lenient towards the children that their children aren’t afraid of their mother instead. This maybe due to several times when the mother gives instructions or punishments, she wasn’t true to her words. Kids love to test their parents in many situations and see if they can take advantage of it and if you as their mother have been giving up on what you set yourself, you have to start fixing the problem by sticking to your promise otherwise your kids might soon loose their respect for you!

You might have been giving inadequate discipline as well that’s why your kids aren’t listening to you. To start off, do not tolerate anything to give in to your kids. Then, you may proceed in disciplining them but don’t expect unreal situations like having your kids being obedient most of the time. This is impossible not unless they are much older.

Being parents, your kid’s studies will come first of course but in current trend, play becomes essential for their development. Through play, they can learn a variety of things and it was never a waste of time to let them have some fun. So, there’s no point in pestering them to complete extra assignments that isn’t from schools or sending them for a lot of tuition classes or new skills classes. These can be learn from play time and having their time in school most of the time and days in a week, its time to let them stay home or go for an outing in a different environment among different people and culture for a change.

If you aren’t working, you might loose touch on the current updated issue as being so busy taking care of home that you have been using outdated discipline methods that don’t really work anymore. Worry not as there are so many ways in getting back in touch with the new issues and fix things with your kids. However, beware not to push trends to your kids as certain trends are being too redundant and not necessary. You may have them following certain trends on their own already, so, watch out if they are picking up the right ones or not.

Most mothers even those who are strict with their kids, have a very soft heart. Like it or not, mothers still have to avoid these mistakes once a while as it’s for your kid’s own good in the future! Don’t worry as your children wouldn’t hate you for it but love you even more when they understand the reasons of what you did.

What makes a good mother?

Every family differs from another. Although your kids are comfortable with both parents but when it comes to serious instructions, they would still listens to either one of them more and are afraid of what that parent would do if they don’t follow the instructions. It would be a rare case of kids fearing both parents as either one of the parents would be stricter than the other one.

So, being fathers, there are always mistakes made and the first is being too ignorant towards your children’s daily life though you do ask from time to time what’s up with their day, but you never really look into them properly. Sometimes, you might catch yourself repeating the same questions that your children memorize them and answers the same every time. This isn’t right and its time to make a change and reconcile with your spouse about your kids situation and interact more with your kids.

Secondly, most fathers being busy with work would always think your spouse would handle the kids and you tend to ignore the obvious. At times, you might assume good grades means there are no other problems in your kid’s life or when they make mistakes, you tend to overprotect them and defend them that they are right or even under protect them and let them innocently receive the punishment which is unfair. If there’s any favoritism occurring in your family, start by eliminating that and fix things in your family. After all what’s the point of starting a family if it is not to take care of them besides earning for them?

Sometimes, being busy can put you in a situation where you’re too focused on your work that you may bring home work and complete them at home that you forgot about your family. Either way, you may also be too tired to spend some time with your family after work that you just doze off after shower. Now, this is very bad that you’re showing a bad example to your children by not being a good spouse and also father! Your children might start to have second thoughts on your love and attention towards them and your spouse may understand and is able to handle this for a short period of time but not long term. This isn’t healthy at all for any family.

Since you don’t have much time to waste, you basically would set too many expectations for your kids to achieve and some may turn out to be very unreasonable goals. If the results are not what of you expected, this may result in giving your kids a good lecture of their performance instead of advising them and spending time with them to rekindle your relationships so that you’re able to help them. However, if their results are always good, you may be spoiling them with too many material gifts.

Coming to gifts, you may be pampering them with expensive gifts which they would only build puppy love towards it. The next moment they would be expecting a new present without learning how to earn it as some fathers spend on gifts for their children as a token of being so busy and not being able to spend time with them. This is actually buying out of guilt and if you’re so busy make time and do any arrangements if you need to because without a family, there’s no point being so busy at all.

As a father, though mothers are naturally the ones who would take care of the kids, its also part of your responsibility to do so. Raising a family is not a one sided issue but both be it financially or in values.

What makes a good father?