Very Involved Parents (VIP)

Wondering what is emotionally intelligent? It is where an individual has the abilities of persisting in facing difficulties while being able to monitor and read other’s feelings. This gives them the advantages of getting along with others very well and is able to resist temptation to aim for a higher goal. They are also considerate when taking action towards the needs of themselves and others. Have you been noticing these traits in your children? Then, here are some tips on how to raise them up emotionally intelligent healthily!

Self check on you first. Ensure that you have always been setting an example to your children by checking how you are reacting towards your child’s display of emotions. It’s important for you to always stay calm when handling them as it’s very easy for you to loose your temper and accidentally be verbally harsh towards them which are not healthy. Try avoiding excessive criticism as this would break their confidence. Don’t forget to stay in touch with your feelings as instead of hiding your real feelings which can cause confusions, you should be acknowledging your displeased feelings without acting upset to show your children that even difficult feelings can be handled.

Now, time to handle your children’s emotions. Help them to validate their emotions as they could be still trying to figure out how to express their discomfort whenever your children start to act up. Because their vocabulary and understanding are still limited at such a tender age, they would have trouble describing their feelings. Try teaching them to name their feelings by building an emotional vocabulary. There’s always a specific reason for your children to act the way they are discomfort with and it’s important that they know it’s normal to have conflicting emotions. Sometimes, they could also be upset or sad for no reasons but if you think about the recent changes or any troubling events or simply by observing and listening to them especially while they play, you might pick out something went wrong somewhere. It’s also essential to spare some time to listen with empathy to your children as this helps you to understand what your children are going through. This is also the time for you to build a rapport with them and share examples of your own life with them to show how far you understand them.

To teach them further to handle their emotions, you can turn their tantrums into teaching tools or use conflicts to teach them problem solving! When your children felt upset about an event, help them to prepare for the event by feeling in control through explaining to them what to expect and the reason of feeling upset as well as the necessity of them going through the event. Talking through emotions with children works the same way as it does for adults! As for conflicts, help your children to know that it’s fine to be angry but there’s no reason to hurt other people for that reason to avoid unwanted fights. Make them practice speaking in a strong voice or use the breathing method to let them express their emotions.

Emotionally intelligence children have the benefits of being loved by their families and friends due to their friendliness and socializing skills. With the correct upbringing, there’s no doubt they would grow to be a considerate and understanding adult!